Rachel Bagshaw & China Plate present

Where I Go (When I Can’t Be Where I Am)

A short film about love, isolation and living with chronic pain.


Run time: 17 minutes

Age: 14+

Content warnings: Strong language. Flashing images and visual effects. Heightened description of chronic, physical pain.

A woman’s face looks directly to camera, over a vivid blue background. A mirror image overlaps her face creating a distorted effect.

The Stage

4 stars

The Reviews Hub

4 stars

"...this digital version has such an intensity of focus, allowing you so directly inside the woman’s head... this is a piece with the impact of a stone dropped in a mill pond. It ripples and ripples"

Lyn Gardner, StageDoor

A woman sitting on a bed talking directly to camera.

Where I Go
(When I Can’t Be Where I Am)

Directed by Rachel Bagshaw
Written by Chris Thorpe

Supported by BBC Arts, Arts Council England, The Space and Battersea Arts Centre. Commissioned as part of BBC Arts Culture in Quarantine

In April 2020, a woman sits alone in her house.

She lives with constant pain. Pain so intense she can hear it and see it. Pain with no apparent cause.

Remembering a past relationship, she wonders if she can ever communicate how she experiences the world in a way that someone else will truly understand.

Conceived and directed by Rachel Bagshaw, written by Chris Thorpe and produced by China Plate, Where I Go (When I Can’t Be Where I Am) is a powerful and intimate insight into the isolation of living with a rare, synaesthetic chronic pain condition.

Adapted from and created by the team behind the multi award-winning, critically acclaimed theatre show The Shape of the Pain. Filmed in isolation, with a gripping performance by Hannah McPake, composition and sound design by Melanie Wilson, film editing, D.O.P and video design by Joshua Pharo and production design by Madeleine Girling.

Photo © Hannah McPake & Joshua Pharo


The Shape of the Pain and Where I Go (When I Can’t Be Where I Am) screening is available for national and international touring.

If you are interested in booking, or would like to discuss further, please contact Ed Collier on [email protected]


Creative Team

A woman sitting in a wheelchair, not looking at the camera, with a pen and paper in hand.

Rachel Bagshaw

Award-winning director & theatre maker; recent film adaptation of The Shape of the Pain for BBC.

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  • Director | Rachel Bagshaw
  • Writer | Chris Thorpe
  • Performer | Hannah McPake
  • Composition & Sound Design | Melanie Wilson
  • Film editing, D.O.P & Video Design | Joshua Pharo
  • Production Designer | Madeleine Girling
  • Associate Director | Caitriona Shoobridge
  • Production Manager | Helen Mugridge
  • Artist Wellbeing Practitioner | Lou Platt
  • Producer | China Plate

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